Let’s just address the elephant in the room: everyone faces adversity in our lives. Yes, everyone.

As beautiful and perfect as people make their lives seem on social media, none of us are perfect - that stuff is just a highlight reel. In the background, we all face difficulties big and small every single day.

But how we each handle and overcome adversity greatly differs.

The people we look up to, that inspire, have figured out how to punch adversity in the face and get moving anyway, while everyone else stays stuck.

Let’s talk about what propels them forward, and what keeps most of us from getting there.

The problem with going into “fix it mode”

For most of us, when we’re facing something difficult, whether in our business or another area of our lives, our instinct is to fix it and put the pieces back together. By nature, we try to make things right and back to the way things were before. We instinctively try to go back to what we know.

The problem is, even if you put pieces back together, it will never be the exact same thing it used to be.

If my 3-year-old knocks a cup off the counter and it shatters, even if I try to reassemble it, it won’t look or function perfectly.

Good enough? Maybe, but it will never be exactly. the. same.

Neither will you.

What you need to do instead

When something in your life breaks, fight the urge to fix it.

The first thing you need to do is acknowledge that we can’t go back to the way things were before once they’ve broken.

Take a deep breath, give yourself a moment to process that, and fight the feelings of wanting to force things in order to make them feel “fixed.”

The person, the identity, the life you had before has been changed in some way, shape, or form. Denying that does not make it any easier to process.

Decide to take the next step

At some point, a breaking point set off either by something big, or just as likely, something small and inconsequential, you’ll need to take a new perspective.

Maybe it was a launch that didn’t go well. Maybe it was an event you weren’t happy with. Or maybe you just wake up one morning having hit that point.

But at some time, you need to decide “this thing’s done.”

No more fixing.

From then on, you’ll move forward and take a new perspective, and actively decide to see the lessons learned.

Give yourself a breather, and decide which direction to move in.

The choice is yours.

Stop trying to force things and fix things and to move, so you have the space from this situation to decide what your next step should be.

You may know that I have book releasing soon. What you may not know is that the decision to write this book came from one of these pivotal moments I’m telling you about now.

This book wouldn’t be happening without that decision that day, deciding my next step would not be to force the broken pieces back together.

Here’s why:

Jessica Rasdall